How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
