and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
