someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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