Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
