That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
