How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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