I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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