um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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