i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
