Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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