I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
