nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
