GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
