Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
