Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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