were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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