It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
