She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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