I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
