Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize