We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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