i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
