So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize