i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
