May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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