I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just blew my weed a kiss
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
