I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
