i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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