he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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