just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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