I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
wow bdsm is so cute
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
