You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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