well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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