I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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