Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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