sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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