i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
