Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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