do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
