Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
