i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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