i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
