No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
