i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
