I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
