Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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