Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
