I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
