My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
