Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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