Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
