Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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(716): View more from New York

He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.

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(302): View more from Delaware

My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.

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(772): View more from Florida

how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Same.

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(806): View more from Texas

Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy

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(630): View more from Illinois

Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?

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