Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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