Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
