I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
