i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
