Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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