You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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