Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
