Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
