It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
