If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
