yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
