2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
