I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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